When Not To Talk To Me

I know I’ve said this before, but when I am working out, I do not like to be talked to. My workouts are usually 2 hours, with the drive to and from the gym, it usually takes 2 and a half hours out of my day. Given that I rarely get home before 7, that means that I don’t have a whole lot of time in the evenings to do much else. So I like to keep my gym sessions as short as possible by not talking to anyone.

Yesterday, I was doing squats. I had a bar across my shoulders and was squatting an amount equal to my own weight, which is not a light load. Staring straight ahead, concentrating hard on getting down far for that deep glute burn. I noticed some skinny nitwit walking past me on his way to the water fountain. He paused just in front of me for a moment, which I knew meant he was going to approach me. I avoided looking at him, and he walked on.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him coming back, so I started readying myself for my next set to avoid him stopping. Just as I lifted the bar off the rack, he stops. Our conversation:

Him: (very enthusiastically) Hi! I’m Ted!

Me: (between deep breaths) Hi.

Him: Are you new here? I’ve never seen you before.

Me: (pause, finishing my rep) I’m (breath) here (breath) all (breath) the (breath) time.

Him: Really? I’ve never seen you before. Are you sure?

Me: (wanting to kill him. I hate it when guys say this. I am there 4 nights a week for 2 hours at a time, plus weekend mornings. If you haven’t seen me at the gym yet, you don’t go often enough). Yes, I’m sure.

Him: So. What do you do for a living?

Me: (still doing my squats. can’t believe the nerve of this loser) I work online (which is what I usually say when I know they’re too stupid to even remotely understand what I do).

Him: Oh that’s so cool! What do you do for fun? (another dumb question.)

Me: (now really annoyed, and still deep breathing) Stuff.

Him: Oh cool! Want to hang out sometime?

Me: (let out a loud, unfeminine grunt)

Him: I have to go back to my treadmill now. So I guess I’ll see you soon?

Me: (don’t say anything)

Gentlemen: wether I am on the cross trainer, doing curls or in a yoga class, you DO NOT talk to me while I am working out. I pay my fee at the gym to get a workout and I pay my tab at the bars to get hit on. Please don’t confuse these two places.